WORST DVD ART OF ALL TIME: Northwest Frontier

Sometimes studios will change the dvd art of their movies in order to identify which discs are "for rental only" -- sold to Netflix or Redbox or Blockbuster. Basically all they do is put no dvd art, with ony the title across a grey disc. (I'm not sure exactly why they make the distinction between rental only discs in the first place. I guess in order to prevent resell.) But here it is, the worst dvd art of all time. Not a rental art disc, but an honest to God "for purchase" production dvd:

Riveting, isn't it? White background, bold black letters. Wow. You may ask, just what is this steamroller of a film about that would inspire such cataclysmic artwork? Here's the summary:

When the rajah of British India's most northwestern province is slain during a massive uprising, English army officer Captain Scott (More) is ordered to rescue the 5-year-old heir to the throne and speed the child to safety. Boarding their only means of escape - a decrepit old steam locomotive - Scott and the boy race to farway Kalapur, accompanied by a tempestuous governess (Lauren Bacall), a handful of passengers and an undercover enemy agent. Hurtling across 300 miles of rebel-held territory, Scott battles impossible odds on a perilous cross-country train ride jam-packed with hair-raising native attacks, death-defying bridge crossings and white-knuckle last-minute escapes!

I don't know about you, but I'd at least give it a look. So what about the dvd box cover art?

What could be the problem? Put that train on the disc!

Film Diary MARCH 2009

March was a little on the slow side. WATCHMEN proved interesting but in the end confusing (didn't we end up just where we started? The good guys were the bad guys? And why did the writer hate Nixon so much. I mean, he really seemed to hate Nixon.) RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN was a throwback to old school Disney when they made movies like BLACKBEARD'S GHOST and POLLYANA and THE BOATNIKS and you were a kid and you watched them and thought they were great cause you didn't know any better. DUPLICITY had some excellent dialogue and good scenes but in the end we'd like our heroes to win, thank you very much. (Makes them at least appear to be smart and clever; think THE STING). MONSTERS VS ALIENS was in 3D. KNOWING was strange and creepy in the end (what's up with the little kids taken to an alien world who are eventually supposed to repopulate the Earth -- just weird all over). The best of the month was definitely I LOVE YOU MAN.

Poster Art: DISTRICT 9

Every now and then a movie comes along that is the essence of "intriguing." DISTRICT 9 may not live up to the creeping attention that it is getting, but I'm definitely going to be at the head of the line to see it...

DVD Menu Art: LEGEND OF BLOOD CASTLE

Let's just call this "how not to make DVD menu art." It's not hard to find unimaginative examples of menu art for DVDs. Film is a creative medium. You're paying for an experience, whether it's in the theatre or at home watching a movie on tv. What I don't understand is why a company has gone to all of the trouble to make a film (and making film is definitely a hard edged struggle to get financing and distribution) just to give up when it comes to representative things like poster art or dvd art. This menu system and art seems to have been cooked up by some fifth rate outfit from a template. If the DVD menu art makes you want to fall asleep, what do you think the film itself will do?

DVD Menu Art: Quantum of Solace

Film Review: PUBLIC ENEMIES

Michael Mann makes solid movies. No one argues that. And without a doubt he has the artistic ability to get at the heart of a situation, the emotional point of attack that takes conflict and turns it into a series of moral questions which is definitely watchable and sometimes unsettling at the outcome. When he’s at his best, he puts his audience in the primary place an audience should be, anticipating the outcome of conflict between the protagonist and his nemesis. And he’s not afraid to tackle tough, weighty issues. Which is what makes Michael Mann something of a mystery. He’ll give you heart pounding action and exquisite visual tapestries only to miss the mark with decisions that seem to defy logic when it comes to telling his story. I don’t know if they’re decisions led by curiousity, “just to try something this way” or whether he has some idea in his head of what he thinks a Hollywood movie “should be”. (THE KEEP, though flawed with narrative ambiguity, is one of my personal favorites). HEAT and THE INSIDER are his best efforts. In both of these, you get an essential quality that great films must have: the collision of truth. The collision of truth is simple: it pits two characters -- the good guy and the bad guy -- at odds with each other, not simply in their desires or needs or motivations, but in their basic fundamental philosophy. Cop movies are, (as well as can be argued the Western ) the epitome of collision of truth movies: “might makes right” vs “might for right.” Expecting to get something along these lines (which of course is the best way to ruin a movie for yourself, by having expectations) PUBLIC ENEMIES skirts many moments of dramatic tension that it could have exploited while avoiding the critical confrontation of what made John Dillinger, Dillinger and Melvin Pervis, Pervis. Mann goes for subtlety here, concentrating on the love story between Dillinger and his girlfriend and seems to lose the sense of who Dillinger was. Instead, he’s going for “noble criminal”; but the truth of what created the essence of Dillinger is far more fascinating. The acting is good; Johnny Depp’s screen persona shines as always, but Christian Bale is so racheted down that he never gets a chance to steal the show (which may be why). The other thing that is odd is how Mann decides to shoot the film. The cinematography shoots for documentary style, and ultimately it makes the film look at times like a cheap BBC television show (apologies to Dr. Who and Primeval). The glory of the art direction is muted by close-ups and hand held shots which don’t add significantly to the level of dramatic tension already present in the scene. The film picks up speed when the visual choices move toward the conventional rather than the esoteric. Unfortunately, when the film really starts to shine, Mann turns out the light with his overthought choices.

Film Diary APRIL 09

April had its diverse share of movies. Biggest disappointment: ADVENTURELAND. A movie that wants so badly to be profound, but in the end, the experiences faced by the main character and his ultimately loser friends, aren't any different than anyone else's experiences. ADVENTURELAND wants to be ALMOST FAMOUS, but isn't. Again -- ADVENTURELAND wants to be ALMOST FAMOUS, but isn't. Second biggest disappointment: OBSERVE AND REPORT. Starts out using its strengths at hand (Seth Rogen’s rubber face and mediocre- at-best life view), but then takes some of the strangest twists along the way--fighting with the cops in the mall for instance--that it makes you question the sensibilities of the filmmakers. Are we trying to expel some personal demons, or does he think that's what people think is funny? There is, though, a reason to watch this movie: the performance by Collette Wolfe. Intense, electric, mesmerizing. When she cries, she makes you want to cry. Biggest surprise of the month: 17 AGAIN. Intelligent, good acting, good storyline, well written. Who knew Zac Efron had it in him? If he can break the Disney mold, he could become a real actor.

Film Review: ICE AGE 3 -- DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS

The 3-D process is like cheese on your vegetables. Everything tastes better with cheese (cauliflower, broccoli, spinach, etc.). We LOVE cheese on our vegetables, don't we? And likewise, you can’t go wrong with 3D because it’s fun. Just watching 3D movies is like peering into a viewmaster like you did when you were a kid. 3D may have once been a cheesy gimmick to get people to fill seats, but with advent of new technologies, it has become respectable and it isn’t just something reserved for IMAX theatres, and when done properly, helps create a mood for telling the story. Which may be one of the reasons James Cameron decided to use it for his next film (AVATAR) -- 3D has definitely become a mainstream technique for seriously artistic filmmakers. George Lucas apparently is considering releasing the first three STAR WARS movies in 3D thanks to a conversion process developed by a company called In-Three (much like how the NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS was reissued in 3D, as well as the upcoming TOY STORY 1 and 2). 3D transcends genre. Action, adventure, sci fi, comedy, horror – you name it, you can put 3d on anything. JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH, BEOWULF, BOLT, UP, MONSTERS VS ALIENS, CORALINE, and MY BLOODY VALENTINE. Now, having acknowledged how wonderfully fun the 3D process can be, unfortunately, the 3D process is about the only reason to see ICE AGE 3, DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS. ICE AGE is one of those films that spools off the Hollywood assembly line like an enigma, something that looks good on paper and should be good, but in the end isn’t. The voice acting is good; the characters certainly have personality, and the animation is phenomenal. It even has 3D! But in the end, the movie is flat and uninventive and well ... boring. The storyline is forced and the jokes feel even more forced, as if the plot is servicing the jokes instead of the other way around. Definitely cute, but definitely no CARS or WALL-E or FINDING NEMO or MADAGASCAR.

Film Diary May 09

Continuing the film diary series... The movies are in the order in which I saw them. When a movie shows up more than once in the matrix, it just means that I saw that movie more than once. May, as you can tell, was a very Star Trek month. (I was hoping that May was going to be a very Terminator month, but unfortunately, McG doesn't seem to understand that there should be more than three terminators guarding Skynet Central.)